Heartbeats and Halos

‘Ladies and gentlemen

I’m gonna tell you ‘bout

One of the many men

Name is irrelevant

Height is irrelevant

He was a one out of ten

Or so I thought back then🫠.

Now I have no plans of writing tonight as it is 1:21am and I am working. I decided to let Apple Music do its thing and shuffle songs when it stumbled on Raye’s Oscar Winning Tears. I paid no attention at first until it got to ‘thought I was safe again, thought he was innocent’, so I started the song again. A brief pause, a single tear - not for anyone or anything in particular but for my sentiments.

I have a problem, more like a curse really: unconventional friendships and love has a gripping effect on me. I think it’s the challenge of what the world would say, the thrill of defying societal norms and expectations.

And every single time, I’ve been proved wrong.

Scratch that, most of the times. As thrilling as it can be, you’ll find out that there is a hidden demon in everyone, we just know how to tame it better. Things and people are never what they seem like; they are never as plain as they come. And I learn this lesson every single time but somehow, it still manages to fly over my head.

Sigh, I don’t even know how to start the story or which story to tell. My emotions resolve pretty quickly - Whether it is love, anger, resentment, hatred or even happiness, it gets resolved easily. Which can be nice at times but also conflicting. It’s like lighting a candle in the middle of a hailstorm; the fire dies almost instantly. Which also means I no longer feel as emotional as I did when I started writing this mail so forgive me, I have to end it here.

Maybe one of these days, just maybe, the emotions will linger long enough for me to tell my stories.

Anyway, I’m done with my 18months mental health nursing course (the OG’s remember) and I bagged another diploma (Applaudis pour moi) yayyyy.

I have to go back to work now.

Song of the Week: Raye, Oscar Winning Tears.