Lately, I’ve been moving close to the edge🥺

Still be lookin’ my best 🫠

The header is from Dua Lipa’s ‘Dance The Night’.

A very hot night, time is currently 11:50pm which means in the next ten minutes NPH, Aro will switch off their ‘24 hours’ generator. My rechargeable fan is on standby and my AirPods are plugged in. I tried to listen to The Weeknd as usual but it’s not doing it for me today as Apple Music decided to only shuffle his s3xual songs and nope, not in the mood.

Now, this song comes on. I’ve listened to it multiple times and I was always like yeah, it resonates with me. After all, no matter what I’m going through I still keep the party going. But tonight, a new realization struck me. I’m not sure what’s happening but feels like my immunity against stress is wearing off or maybe it’s just that life is rapidly changing and I’m finding it hard to keep up.

Either ways, when I got to the part where she (Dua Lipa) said ‘my heart could be burning but you won’t see it on my face’, I laughed. Because this week, few people definitely saw it on my face. The emotional turmoil that came with this week is unmatched and I tried my possible best not to show it but it was just too tiring.

My man noticed and kept asking me what was going on and I finally gave in. Guess what? even though he is thousand of miles away, it felt as if a big burden has been lifted off my shoulder. I felt considerably better as the tears flowed down my cheeks and I poured out every single bit of my fear. Now, my fears are valid but I also learnt that I can do with a little bit of positivity. My most effective coping mechanism is to assume the worst and prepare for it but for this particular situation, thinking about the worst will likely send me to the ICU or home for the clinically insane which makes zero sense seeing as I am a mental health nurse🫠. So I confided in my partner which in turn made me tell my roommate what was wrong (since she has been asking for days but I could not bring myself to answer) and it was just the best thing ever.

Most of us are used to handling situations ourselves, breaking down and trying to make things work all alone. It is a nice thing to be self dependent but once in a while, it is perfectly alright to share our burdens with others so we don’t crash and burn.

Shocked was an understatement when I saw that my subscribers grew rapidly overnight (Osas’ effect as she continues to recommend my substack🫶).

Dear new subscribers, you’re welcome. This is a safe space where I get to vent and gist with 600 strangers turned besties😹🤭. Thank you all for being here.

Oops, it’s been 10 minutes and the power is out. Write to you guys soon.

Love,

Adesewa🫶

P.S: ⬇️